Wedding traditions in Kazakhstan are a whole system of rituals, starting with matchmaking and continuing even after the first wedding night. These traditions include many unwritten rules and customs and have always been considered one of the most important events in the life of every Kazakh.

In the past, early marriages were often concluded: a girl could be only 13-14 years old, and a boy - 14-15. Sometimes marriages were determined in advance - even before the birth of future spouses, by agreement between families.

Today, some customs have lost their relevance due to changes in social and moral norms, as well as in connection with current legislation. For example, bride kidnapping, once considered part of tradition, is now prosecuted by law. However, some rites and rituals are experiencing a revival and are again becoming part of cultural life.

Of particular importance has always been "Adat" - a set of traditional norms and prohibitions. One of its main rules is a strict taboo on marriage between people related by family ties up to the seventh generation. That is why most Kazakhs know their genealogy at least to the seventh ancestor. The “Adat” also includes a rule on the age difference: the bride should not be more than 8 years older than the groom, and the groom should not be more than 25 years older than the bride.

“Kyz ayttyru” — conspiracy

Parents began to look for a bride for their son long before he came of age. They traveled around the villages, met respected families, learned about the genealogy of the girls and their heredity. If they found a worthy candidate, they expressed their desire to become matchmakers to her parents.

Sometimes close friends had a preliminary agreement that they would marry off their children in the future. Such an agreement was called “Bel kuda”.

There were also other forms of agreements on a future wedding, each of which had its own characteristics and rules.

An alternative to traditional matchmaking could be the bride show "Kyz koru" - a kind of dating ceremony, where a young man could choose his future wife himself. However, not everyone was allowed to do this - only the sons of noble families, famous warriors and batyrs, who had a high position and authority in society.

"Kuda tusu" - Matchmaking

The matchmaking process in the Kazakh tradition was complex and took place in several stages. The first step was made by a mediator called "zhaushi" - he went to the girl's father with a proposal to create an alliance between the families. If the bride's father expressed consent, the zhaushy gave him a horse as a sign of respect and seriousness of intentions, and in return received a festive shapan - traditional clothing symbolizing approval.

The next stage was the main matchmaking - "Kuda tusu", during which the groom's father personally came to the girl's father. Here the official introduction of two families took place, at a common table - they ate from the same dishes, as a symbol of future unity. At this stage, gifts were exchanged and a kind of marriage contract was concluded. Refusal to agree after this stage was considered a serious violation and could entail penalties.

The final visit of the matchmakers was called "Bata ayak". During this meeting, all organizational details of the future wedding were discussed: date, amount of expenses, composition of the dowry, etc. It was also then that the groom's side handed over "Kalyn mal" - a ransom for the bride, expressed, as a rule, in the transfer of livestock. For low-income families, 5-6 cows were considered the norm, while wealthy families could send a whole herd of hundreds, or even thousands of horses. "Kynamende", "Uryn kelu" or "Kyz kashar" - the first meeting

After all the matchmaking rituals, the future groom could visit his future wife for the first time. To do this, he had to send a gift "oli tiri" as a sign of respect to the bride's family, after which he could come to the village where the girl lived. According to custom, the groom arrived in the evening, when it got dark, supposedly secretly, but the next day there was a general youth party with dancing and songs, young people got to know each other, and the girl also gave her beloved a scarf as a sign of her innocence. If after such an acquaintance the guy or girl refused the wedding, then the guilty party had to return everything previously given, and also pay an additional fine.

"Uzatu toy" - the bride's wedding and farewell to the family home

On the appointed day, the bride's wedding "Uzatu toy" is held in the house of the bride's father - a special celebration during which the girl says goodbye to her family, parents and native village. A large delegation arrives from the groom's side - usually 15-20 people.

One of the main moments of this day was the "Saukele kigizu" ceremony, when the bride was ceremoniously put on a wedding headdress - saukele. This product often cost a fortune and symbolized not only the status of the family, but also the beginning of a new life for the girl.
Active preparations are underway for the bride's departure to the groom's house: her dowry is shown, the wedding yurt is dismantled. Everything is accompanied by numerous rituals, songs and an exchange of gifts between families.

Farewell to relatives takes place in a solemn and touching atmosphere. On the same day, before the main wedding, the first wedding night of the newlyweds takes place in the groom's house, surrounded by special rituals and strictly observed customs.

The next morning, with the sunrise, the girl is solemnly sent to the house of her future husband. According to tradition, the girl is forbidden to look back - this is considered a bad omen and a sign of regret about parting with the parental home.

"Kelin tusiru" - a wedding in the groom's house

When the bride arrived at the groom's village, the girl was left a short distance from the house. According to tradition, she had to walk part of the way, accompanied by local girls, so that everyone could see the new kelin - daughter-in-law. Along the way, she was showered with "shashu" - candies, coins and sweets, symbols of abundance and happiness.

Crossing the threshold of the groom's house, the bride had to do so with her right foot and with a deep bow so that her saukele - a high headdress - almost touched the ground. This gesture symbolized respect for the new home and acceptance of their new role.

Then one of the most important rites began - "betashar" (literally "unveiling the face"). In front of the assembled guests, the bride unveiled her face for the first time. This was accompanied by a song in which the names of the groom's relatives were listed, and the bride bowed to each of them as a sign of respect. The ceremony ended with the groom's mother approaching the bride, kissing her, removing her veil, which was then cut into pieces and tied to a vessel for kumis - a symbol of the wish for many children and a happy life.

After this, a wedding feast was held, and at its end, the groom's mother removed the kelin's luxurious saukele and put on a kasaba - a simple hat of a married woman. This meant the official acceptance of the daughter-in-law into the family and her transition to a new status. The Nike Kiyu ceremony — a religious wedding

The next day after the wedding, the Nike Kiyu religious ceremony — a Muslim wedding — took place. The bride and groom, together with two witnesses, came to the mosque. There they sat in front of the mullah, who held a bowl of water with coins at the bottom.

The mullah read a prayer, after which the bride and groom drank from the bowl three times — as a symbol of spiritual union. Then the witnesses drank the water and took the coins — as a sign of securing the marriage contract. From that moment on, the couple was officially considered husband and wife according to the canons of Islam.

After all the main wedding ceremonies were completed, the young wife went to visit all of her husband's relatives, bringing gifts with her. There, she was tested in every possible way, checking her politeness and upbringing. The young husband went to his father-in-law's house and also brought various gifts. In addition, various ceremonies were held to help the girl quickly adapt to the new home. The girl could visit her parents' house only after a year.

Modern Kazakh wedding

If in the past a Kazakh wedding lasted at least three days and included many ceremonies and rituals, today most of these traditions are tried to fit into one or two days. Some stages are omitted or held in an abbreviated form, depending on the family's capabilities and the degree of commitment to customs.

Modern brides are increasingly choosing European wedding dresses, but the traditional headdress - saukele - still remains an important symbol of the Kazakh bride. This emphasizes the desire to preserve national identity even within the framework of the modern form of the celebration.

At the same time, generally accepted European elements have firmly entered the wedding ceremonies: a wedding cortege, photo sessions against the backdrop of landmarks, a banquet in a restaurant and performances by artists. All this makes a modern Kazakh wedding similar to a Western one, but people still try to preserve the spirit and traditions of their ancestors, albeit in an adapted form.